So Puffball The Cockerel Has Gone All Bruce Lee In The Coop

Discussion in 'Beginners Forum' started by OnlyMe, Jul 31, 2020.

  1. OnlyMe

    OnlyMe Member

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    I think this one must be related to Puffball.



    Another cockerel that's hard drive is spinning, but the operating system hasn't been installed!
     
  2. robin416

    robin416 Administrator Staff Member

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    That was funny but that bird was playing with fire.
     
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  3. Sylie

    Sylie Super Moderator Staff Member

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    Not sure who the bigger chicken is...the chicken or the cows
     
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  4. MarkSmith

    MarkSmith Member

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    Watched my broody do that after calf ran after chicks. Broody didn’t stop though. She was after calf, and momma when she came running.
     
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  5. robin416

    robin416 Administrator Staff Member

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    Yeah, I had a Momma bantam Hamburg go after a Red Tail Hawk when it tried to grab one of her chicks.
     
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  6. OnlyMe

    OnlyMe Member

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    Puffball said if the wife comes back then things have got to change. He as good as told me to treat her like he does with his girls. To never give her a minutes break and peck her behind whenever you feel like it and for no reason whatsoever.
    I tried to tell him that humans don't treat their ladies like that. They like to be wined and dined, complimented, romanced and took care of.
    He disagreed, puffed himself up and got utterly annoyed, then stomped on one of his girls heads.
    Dialogue with Puffball is all one sided, what he says goes, anybody else that has ever tried having a conversation with a cockerel will know what I mean.
    Looking into Puffball's eyes I can see the lights are on, but oddly enough nobody's home.

    Last night John was around, I've never spent so much time with him since the wife left!
    I'm not one for gossiping but John took it really badly when he was sent to jail. He refused all offers of food and drink, used profanity that I can't repeat on here, and totally trashed the joint..

    That's the last time I play Monopoly with John.


    The wife is due back tomorrow so I will need to clean up the house now.
     
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  7. robin416

    robin416 Administrator Staff Member

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    Ah contraire my friend, not all conversations with all cockerels are one sided. Too bad you didn't get a chance to meet my Shoester. Although now that I think about it since you're a male he'd be chasing you all over the property so it wouldn't have been a productive meeting. He listened when I called, he stopped misbehaving when I told him no. One day, maybe, you'll find that relationship with Puffball. Although I highly doubt it.

    John sounds like an interesting type. Maybe you should introduce him to the forum. We can fill him in on real life, not fantasies. Although you should probably make certain your wife doesn't have your login here unless you want her to return to her mum's for some reason.
     
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  8. Sylie

    Sylie Super Moderator Staff Member

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    You are so hilarious, I look forward to your posts!
     
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  9. Poultry Judge

    Poultry Judge Moderator Staff Member

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    Explain to Puffball that if he is going to become famous, he needs to appropriately shape his public image and stop being mean to the hens and humans. He is a chicken living in the interweb age and like it or not, political correctness is going to be part of how the public perceives him!
     
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  10. robin416

    robin416 Administrator Staff Member

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    Bravo
     
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  11. OnlyMe

    OnlyMe Member

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    I've passed on the message to Puffball about being politically correct..

    For the first time ever he didn't make a sound or strut about with that sarcastic look on his face, instead he cocked his leg, released a high pitched noise which sounded like air being released from a balloon and then depositing something from his back end that very nearly made me sick.
    I will try and work on his manners before he manages to get me booted off here as well...


    I'm feeling quite positive today and I'm not one for bragging normally, but for the past day or two I've been receiving phone calls from my credit card company telling me that my balance is outstanding.

    Can't wait to tell the wife when she gets here shortly!
     
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  12. robin416

    robin416 Administrator Staff Member

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    Here is what was running through his brain the entire time you were talking to him. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, wonder when he's going to turn his back so I can take him down? Stop talking dude, I might have to make this a frontal attack just to show you your words mean nothing to me."
     
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  13. Poultry Judge

    Poultry Judge Moderator Staff Member

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    And you can't say he doesn't give a crap...because he did.
     
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  14. robin416

    robin416 Administrator Staff Member

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    LOL Took me a little too long to figure that one out.
     
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  15. OnlyMe

    OnlyMe Member

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    John's got haemorrhoids, he walked over to me last night like one of the chickens laying an egg.
    I told him to go to the chemist this morning and get some haemorrhoid cream.
    He's just popped round saying he got an angry reaction to the cream, I asked him, 'where exactly did you apply it John?' he replied, 'on the bus coming back home'
    I really don't know how I attract such people into my life?

    The wife and I sat down last night and had a good chat. Well she did the chatting, I just listened. She is certain that since Puffball has appeared here everything has changed.
    She thinks he is possessed and I really can't convince her otherwise.
    I believe the wife and Puffball have loads in common because once he has got something
    in his pea sized brain then theirs no budging him, like it or not, it's Puffballs way or the highway. I daren't tell the wife that they are as stubborn as each other though.

    Still, one good thing that did come out of our chat last night is that we have both decided that we didn't want to have children.

    We're going to tell them when they come back from summer camp next week!
     
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  16. robin416

    robin416 Administrator Staff Member

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    Maybe you should check that help wanted sign out on the front gate and tell us what it says. It might explain how John found you. And Puffball.
     
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  17. Poultry Judge

    Poultry Judge Moderator Staff Member

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    At times we rule out demon possession far too early in the assessment process.
     
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  18. OnlyMe

    OnlyMe Member

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    Puffball went missing today, I went over to do something and he had vanished. I checked the water trough where he had been found before by the horse girl but he was nowhere to be seen.
    I started to patrol the hedgerows until I started thinking about that scene in Jurassic Park where those raptures escaped from their electrified cage.
    I could hear noises and it became so unsettling I went straight up the tree hide I've built and looked out with my telescope. Not a sign of him anywhere.

    At around 4:00pm I had a knock on the door from a policeman, he said somebody had complained about my cockerel chasing a small child on a bike.
    I said that Puffball didn't have a bike!
    I'm seriously starting to worry about the mentality of mankind, I mean it's quite obvious that a cockerel couldn't ride a bike. Their legs aren't long enough to reach the peddles for a start off.

    Anyway he is back now, just wandered along the garden path as if he had been out with his mates for the day. I'm sure he isn't going to be happy until he see's me ended up in a psychiatric ward.

    The wife is driving me up the wall as well today, she told me I was putting on weight and getting rather round. Maybe I should go running again? On the other hand after the last time maybe not.
    If I dared to even say to my wife that I thought she was putting on weight then I wouldn't be typing this now, I'd be on a life support machine!

    It did get me all bothered though, I rang my doctor and told him my wife had said I was putting on weight, he said, 'Just don't eat anything fatty', I replied, 'what
    no burgers, pizza's or sausages?' and he said, 'No fatty, just don't eat anything'

    How rude was that?
     
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  19. robin416

    robin416 Administrator Staff Member

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    You and Puffball have got to get on the same page somehow or he's the one that's going to end up packing his bags and running away from home. At least convince him he needs to answer when his name is called, even if it's in words that can't be repeated here.

    Just stay in the garden and let Puffball chase you. The fear will add to the calories being eaten as you run.
     
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  20. Sylie

    Sylie Super Moderator Staff Member

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    I was going to say something similar to Robin, just let Puffball chase you around everyday, the pounds will melt off.
     
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